I Turned Right, Not Left.....

Turn left, or turn right, or don't move at all. Go in one direction, and your life becomes one thing; go in another, and, so too, your life changes again.

I wanted to be a doctor when I grew up, but for many reasons, the least of all, my inability to master organic chemistry, I hop-scotched majors until I graduated with the skills to read the newspaper and have a career in retail. I thought about being a lawyer, too, but didn't take any steps beyond imaging myself arguing some brilliant theory before a enthralled jury. That, plus a less than stellar score on the LSAT, made law school an impossible dream.

After college, I worked behind the cosmetic counter, and considered my options. One particular December evening, just a week before Christmas, being mugged at gunpoint in the employee parking lot, made a choice for me: a transfer to another store. And
because of that circumstance, I met my husband, Rich.

Later, I became a nurse, recognizing that a supporting role in medicine, for the moment, was good enough. After some years, some additional study, and more initials following my name, I became a nurse practitioner: now, I was able to play "Doctor," a role, that I had so long ago, abandoned.

Some time passed, and a chance overheard conversation from one of my nursing peers, gave me an entre into being a nursing "expert witness." Now, I got to play "Lawyer," from the back row, as well.

Along with our choices, timing is everything. Rich had a heart attack late last year. Although he seemed fine, he had another acute event, just days later. And because I decided to stay home with him that day, instead of going into my office as planned, he is alive.

For each choice we make, for each arbitrary decision, for each circumstance of random timing, a different outcome, a point of divergence, ensues.  These alternate histories, of what may have happened, are a point of fascination: both of great potential opportunity and success, and, conversely, the  potential for infinite sorrow and loss.  And only after the fact, only after the event, do we step back and attempt to appreciate what was set in motion, and what we could have done to alter our fate. In the end, we can only accept it.