I'm not sure I should come clean with this, but I'm really not that bright. This is probably not news to a lot of you. When in doubt, I fake it: I tend to nod and smile, and somehow, it comes off as confident intelligence to the masses.
I do have skills: I'm reasonably competent with saving lives and fighting disease in the ED, I make an awesome cheesecake, and I can certainly turn a phrase, but I'm a little out of my depth with the whole cancer thing.
Right after the first surgery, I noticed the boob was a tad yellowish, and thought, "Hmmm...a little residual Betadine. I'll just scrub that off." After some painful and completely ineffective towel-work, I realized it was just big-time bruising that was some days old! Dumb!
When speaking the Doctor about future preventative care, I said, "And I shouldn't get this boob mammogramed, as it could rupture the silicone, right?" She looked at me rather puzzled and said, "No, you shouldn't get that one mammogramed because there's no tissue left in it." Dumber!
I completely lost all credibility with her then, when I followed it by saying, "Your instructions said that I'm not supposed to be driving for up to 2 weeks. That's to make sure everything stays in place?" To which the doctor replied, "No, you can drive as soon as you want, nothing is going to slip out of place. It's just that you'll probably still be taking narcotics, and because of that, you shouldn't be driving." Dumber too!
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